Recipes for Living Kathy Barr

I hesitated to write my life story and then remembered that my Grandma Karine Slaybaugh wrote her's years ago and that has meant so much to me. I only wish she had gone further. She told about her parents, my great grandparents, who had come to this country from Norway. When her father was 14 years old, "he was considered a man and was taken with a crew of fishermen that spent months at the Lofoten Islands fishing for a large company. In May 1867, the 'American Fever' struck the neighborhood and several young people, including him and his girl friend, embarked on a sailing ship and started for the so-called 'Promised Land."' They spent 13 weeks enroute and landed in Quebec, Canada, another two weeks coming down the St. Lawrence River and Great Lakes, and went by train to LaCrosse, Wisconsin where an older sister lived. This is where her parents were married.

Their first child lived only one day. The family moved to Claremont County near McGregor, and in 1869, when their second child was just a few weeks old, the family joined a caravan of covered wagons and 18 ox teams, crossing the state to Lyon County, a trek that took most of the summer. They built a log cabin in which they lived for 13 years during which three more children were born, Karine being the youngest.

In the spring of 1882, the Johnson family and one other gathered all their worldly possessions, "each in a covered wagon, with a team of horses, and a herd of cattle and sheep were on their way to Dakota on foot" to take advantage of the government offer of 160 acres of land ''just for living there...I can still, in my mind, look over the backs of the team Prince and Jenny, hear the creaking of their harness and ahead of them the herd of cows and calves with our old white bell cow leading. I was very proud of her for she was the only one that had brass tips on her beautiful curved horns. How they glistened in the bright sunlight! That was something the Madison’s did not have!"

Karine's father built a small house which was destroyed by a tornado the very first night The family lived in the covered wagon while a dugout was made in the side of a hill. There was a deep stream that provided fish. The father used his previous experience as a fisherman and made his own nets. "Our menu was simple but satisfying. I cannot remember ever going hungry." Later other family members came to that area, which became known as Woonsocket.

She told many stories that reveal what life was like for them: her fear, not of Indians, but of a horse thief that had a hideout nearby. What would happen if he took Prince and Jenny? She told of wondering where a new baby had come from and being told that he was found by the roadside. The severe winters "with deep drifting snow that piled up so solid that it was possible to walk all the way to school without breaking through the thick crust This made coasting and sliding a favorite pastime. Our lighting system was candles made from mutton tallow...I wonder now how anyone could have perfect eyesight with the flickering yellow gleam that was so dim that it scarcely cast a shadow. Yet glasses were almost unheard of.

"Our flock of sheep was a source of income, meat for our table, and their wool carded into mats made warm comfort for our beds. We carded the wool into rolls of fleece Mother spun into yarn. It must have taken countless miles of yarn for all the stockings, leggings, mittens, wristlets, caps, scarves, and mufflers for the entire family. I can remember being lulled to sleep at night by the hum of (Mother's) spinning wheel and awakened in the morning by the same sound.

"One job that fell to me was herding cattle...alone and on foot. Another was picking potato bugs...if this was not done daily we would find many vines completely stripped for the bugs really multiplied. My most despised chore was milking."

Karine was married in 1903 to Newell Leslie Slaybaugh and they made their home in Woonsocket. Their children were my uncles Donald and Celston, our mother Lois, Aunt Lucile, and Uncle Leslie. Through school functions, Uncle Leslie met our Aunt Virginia, who now lives in Des Moines and taught Mom and her younger brothers. Aunt Virginia talks about coming from a family that wasn't very open and loving. She loved to be with the Slaybaughs because they always laughed, told jokes, and were fun to be with. She loved to laugh!

My family consisted of my parents, Paul and Lois Price, my brother Douglas, and sisters Marilyn and Anita. My early memories are centered on the fact that I was the middle girl. Marilyn was the oldest and often was left in charge when our mom was at work. Anita was the youngest child, and she was cute and lovable. Even I thought so. I was jealous of her and at times I would pick fights with her to prove she wasn't always lovable; she could become angry, too.

Marilyn doesn't agree with me, but I have maintained that the middle child is different. Marilyn was the boss, Anita was the baby, and I couldn't be either of those. I felt that I was caught between being a baby and a grownup, always the odd-man-out. A few years ago my sisters and I each purchased a P. Buckley Moss print titled, "Three Sisters." We had her personalize each one. Mine is signed "The Middle Price Girl." That was the way I felt. I often thought I must have been adopted- never because I thought I was not loved, but because my mind seemed to work differently from everyone else. I know that my mother would insist I was not a difficult child but I think I was.

I don't seem to remember much about what we played when we were little. Dolls were never a big thing for me. We played outdoors a lot. We had an old chicken house, and Mom cleaned it up for us. Can you imagine the work that she put into doing that? She made and hung curtains and we played house out there.

I do remember one incident when I was about 3 ½ years old. It was a night when I became separated from my family. We had arrived late for a horse show in Osceola and the stands were crowded with people. We stood by the fence for awhile and I became interested in the horses in the arena. When I turned around, everyone I knew was gone and I was alone among strangers. I stood and searched through the crowd seated in the stands. Of course I recognized no one. I ran back and forth several times looking for my family. I finally decided to go where I remembered the car was parked. I sat there in the dark and prayed for them to come. I never cried or told anyone I was lost.

Finally, on my last trip to the arena, a car suddenly appeared and I ran in front of it. It stopped and the people asked what I was doing. I could finally tell someone I was lost! I was carried to the platform and it was announced that Paul Price's daughter was looking for him. I distinctly remember watching him walk out to get me and carry me off. Oh, how I loved my dad at that moment! Of course, my family had no idea I had been lost because they had all gone to sit wherever they could find a seat in that large crowd. Everyone thought I was with someone else.

Our dad died shortly after I turned four years old. That certainly changed all our lives, particularly for Doug. He was seven years older than me and after Dad was gone, he had a lot of responsibility. He and a hired man ran the farm. From those years I remember Doug as a tease, particularly when we were at the dinner table. He always got our attention for one reason or another. I was just a kid and he seemed so much older

It seems like I remember very little about my life when Dad was alive, but after his death so many memories are of anxious moments. I grew very fearful of losing everyone and I was afraid of this thing called "Death."

The spring after I turned five, my mother became concerned about my health. I had had several infections that culminated in the decision to remove my tonsils and adenoids. I couldn't eat and breathe simultaneously. I could only breathe through my mouth so I didn't eat much. Believe it or not, I was a very thin child at that time.

Dr. Stray recommended a tonsillectomy. On the morning of the surgery at his hospital, my mother drove me to town and as we crossed the railroad tracks near our home, I looked out the window and saw some pretty blue flowers. We called them snake flowers because there were so many snakes along the railroad tracks. I begged my mom to stop so I could pick some. Anything to delay the surgery. She told me we had an appointment and couldn't miss it.

My aunt, Lois Husted, was a surgical nurse and she assisted Dr. Stray. I did love her a lot but the fear of the surgery and the smell of ether haunted me for years. Our family's custom was to stop at the library on the way home from town on Saturday night, and for years Mom had to make a detour around that hospital. If she didn't, the smell of ether would roll out and overwhelm me. Everyone in the car heard about it!

We lived on a farm four miles west of Osceola. We all attended school at what was then called Ward Center. In kindergarten I had a classmate, Karolyn Edwards. The next year she went to a different school and I was the only student in first, second, and the first semester of third grade. In the middle of the school year, we moved to town.

The upstairs of our house had furniture stored in it and we lived downstairs in what was called the Petrie house on North Fillmore. It was on a lot facing the back of the old high school, which later served as North Elementary. Beside our house there was a building that had once been a store before being moved to this site. It had been made into two apartments and Florence and Olin Monroe lived in the upstairs. She would invite Anita and me up to have ice cream cones. We had not had a refrigerator very long. We were accustomed to an ice box, which would not keep ice cream frozen. And we hadn't known anyone who had cones at home, so we were not used to such wonderful extravagances. We loved Florence and always remembered her as a lovely lady. Olin was nice, too, but Florence gave us treats!

The move was very difficult for us all, particularly in regard to school. I was so traumatized that I can hardly remember, but I think there were 30-33 children in my third year class at West Ward. Mrs. Midgorden was the teacher. Probably my first charitable act was for a girl in my class who appeared to be even sadder than I. Her family seemed to be very poor. She was the oldest of numerous children. No one in the class seemed to care about her and I felt very sorry for her. We were a struggling family but she seemed to be far worse off. I asked Mom if I could take some clothes to her. We put some things in a sack and I started down the street toward her house. I became more nervous and timid the farther I went and by the time I got to their house, I had completely lost my nerve. I left the sack by the drive and ran home. At least I know that someone found the sack because later she wore some of the clothes to school.

We moved to the east side of Osceola at a time when Grandma Slaybaugh was starting to have problems with arthritis in her hip. She left her home in Woonsocket, South Dakota, and moved in with us. That meant there were six people for three bedrooms. Doug was the only male so he had his own room. Mom and Anita had a bedroom, Grandma had a bedroom, and Marilyn and I took turns sleeping with her or on the couch. I would look forward to sleeping on the couch because snoring bothered me. Grandma always read to herself and I would try to go to sleep before she quit reading. I often wouldn't make it. She would fall asleep, and I'd hear her snoring, but she prepared me for my husband.

One of my fondest memories of Grandma is that when I was in fourth grade I had chicken pox. It was really bad in my hair and I was not supposed to scratch. I would say, "Grandma, come rub my head" and she would sit and run her hands through my hair for hours at a time.

I went to fourth grade that year at East Ward. That school was also very crowded and, of course, I was still a scared country girl. Miss Clara Mae Howard was my teacher and the principal. Susan Blake became my friend. Years later she told me that one time she asked our neighbor, Charlotte Kelley, who had been my second grade teacher in country school, if I was a little slow because I was not doing well in school. Charlotte assured her that I was okay. I know for certain that I was socially backward.

I regard Charlotte as the one who saved me. She made learning unbelievably fun. After our lunch was over, Charlotte would read one chapter in a book to the lower grades. Sometimes we would beg her to read just one more. It was wonderful when she did. She turned me on to reading, providing me with all the second grade books and then moving me on to third grade ones. While we still lived in the country, we came to Osceola on Saturdays and always stopped at the library on the way out of town. In those days it was open until 8:00 or 9:00p.m. My library card, that I have had since I was in second grade, is number was 793. I just read and read for hours.

In fourth and fifth grade I finally started to bloom. I made friends with many girls. Along with Susan Blake and Vallie Karns were friends Sharon Miller, Karen Evans, Dixie Wetterling, and Rita Keller. I will always remember them with great fondness even though few of them still live in Osceola. Vallie was one of the best and her mom, Marie, was a great scout leader. When we met at their home, she would make us Golden Eggs for a treat. They were dumplings with cheese folded in the middle, dropped and cooked in tomato soup. I can still taste it today.

Due to overcrowding at East Ward, in sixth grade we were moved to South Ward and they started building the new school at East Ward. Old South Ward was the junior high of my time so sixth graders had to move into the junior high building. There came a time, years later, when I volunteered to serve on a needs assessment committee for the school. I thought I was well qualified. I had gone to school in every building and now they have all been torn down. I went to old West Ward, where a housing complex now stands; old East Ward, which was torn down when the new school was finished; for sixth and seventh I went to old South Ward, which is the site of the United Methodist Church; and in eighth I went again to old West Ward. In 1961, I was in the last class to graduate from the old High School, which has just now been leveled.

The needs assessment committee came up with good recommendations which resulted in an upgraded chemistry lab, new lighting, improved music facilities, and many other features. I feel that Osceola can be proud to have provided for the future of our community.

In junior high, I became more outgoing and started playing basketball, the only sport girls could play in the '50's. I just loved it! When I was in seventh grade, the high school band needed students. Edmund Hargrove was the band instructor and he decided I could help fill in the high school marching band. There was no way I was going to do that because they performed for football games and band members had to sit together until the half-time show was over. I had no friends taking instrument lessons, and my skill with the clarinet went downhill very fast. I really let Mr. Hargrove down and he never knew why.

I loved high school! I had friends with whom I became very close. We called our little group "The Six-Pack." It consisted of Susan Blake, Sharon Miller, Karen Evans, Karen Schaffer, Karen Swan and I. There were others and we called the entire group, "The Half A Case," which was interesting because none of us drank. Many of my best memories are of being with my friends at school and slumber parties. I continued to play basketball, and there I mixed with girls from other grades. But, as a rule, we seemed to stay with our own classmates.

There was only one guy I was always interested in- Richard Barr-and I met him when I was a freshman in high school. He was the driver for one of his friends who had invited me on a 4-H hayride. The friend wasn't yet 16, so Richard was the chauffer. I never had eyes for anyone else after that. I was stuck on the hayrack, and Richard Barr was having fun driving the tractor. He always has said he thought that was more fun. I noticed that he always had a smile on his face, and everyone liked him. There was always a crowd around him.

In all my years in high school, we would only have one or two dates a year. They would seem to go well, but then I wouldn't hear from him again. I later found out that I was no competition if fishing was good on Grand River. Richard worked for his dad on earth-moving equipment all day, and when night came, he and his buddies would get their gear and go fishing.

I didn't want to graduate from high school. I could have gone to school for the rest of my life. I’m sorry for young people who hate school. What a shame! They miss so much. When I did graduate, I couldn't wait to get away from Osceola, but look at me now. I married a fellow from Osceola and have lived happily on a farm right here for nearly 40 years. I had no aspirations for a career, but for one year I went to Iowa State, where Richard also was a student.

We were married in the fall of 1962 at the Little Brown Church in Nashua, Iowa. Several of our friends had been married there and it seemed like the place to go. There was a whole procession of cars, with Richard and his best man leading the way in his blue '57 Chevy. We had to get to the courthouse before it closed at noon. But the fellows had car trouble. We would be driving along, then see their car stopped at the side of the road. Richard and his best man would be under the hood. We would call out, "Are you going to get it going?" They would answer, "We think so," and pretty soon they would pass us and on we’d go again. The wedding took place. Richard had one year left at Iowa State, so we honeymooned there.

After Richard graduated, we came back to Osceola, and a year later started farming Having been a farm girl to begin with, I had no problem going back to it. Robin was born in 1963, and Eric in 1966. I didn't work until after the kids finished school. My first real job was at Robinson's, and then I worked at Bethphage a couple years in their group home on Main Street.

About that time I started having some problems. It was diagnosed as Heglend's deformity, which is a boney growth under the Achilles' tendon. I couldn’t walk well or even bear to wear shoes unless they were backless. That didn't fit what we were required to do with clients at Bethphage. We were to go for lots of walks, and it was necessary to go up and down stairs. Doctors told me there was nothing short of surgery that they could do. I would just have to live with it until I couldn’t stand it. I went on for a couple of years before I was at that point. The surgery involved scraping the excess bone from under the Achilles' tendon. When that was done, it gave me such relief that I wondered why I waited. I could wear shoes again and I could walk!

Both our children started to school at Weldon but when the decision was made to do away with that bus route, they were sent to Osceola. Robin was in fifth grade and Eric in second. He was small and easily could have been held back a year, but he was mentally old enough. He just didn't have the maturity he needed. Mike Boldon was his teacher, and Mike would give directions but Eric always had a better idea. After one week Mike called to say, "I need to discuss Eric with you. What am I going to do with him? He has a wonderful spirit, and I don't want to kill it, but I can't get him to listen to me." All I could suggest was, "You have to be loud. You have to get his attention."

Eric was younger than many of his classmates, and the difference in development at that age was noticeable. He has called himself a late-bloomer because it wasn't until he was in college that he caught up. I called him my in-school drop out. He was there but he didn't get into the spirit of it. He had the form of Mercury. You could imagine him poised, ready to leap into action, but he didn’t go anywhere. As an adult he has lived up to his potential.

Robin was really interested in athletics. She wasn’t a star, but she did okay. Robin participated in every sport she could and did well in ones that didn’t require a lot of speed. She worked hard at everything, and she still has scars from cinders in elbows and knees caused by falling while participating in track. She was an all-American high school girl. She loved it!

For years our family was active in AFS (American Field Service), the student foreign exchange program. For awhile I was the Area Representative. It began when Robin was between her junior and senior years in high school. There was a girl with whom Robin had been best friends since fifth grade, but she had moved on. Robin was naturally feeling kind of lonely. Some time before this my sister, Marilyn (McBroom) had an AFS student, Danny. It made me aware that sometimes it is difficult for those young people to make friends, so I suggested to Robin, "Why don't you see if any of the exchange students need you to be friendly with them." This led to her acquaintance and close friendship with Tea Morek from Finland.

At that point I began to consider allowing Robin to spend a year in the program. This was in spite of an experience when she was in seventh grade. She was to go with a friend to a lake. The morning I was to take her, she started crying. She cried all the way to the family's house saying, "I don't know how I can be away from home that long." Nevertheless, we went on with our plans. We were going to have to untie the apron strings at some point. I left her and found out later that the minute I walked out the door, she quit crying. It was a great trip. She had a lot of fun. This is why camps are so good for children. It gives them an experience of being more self-reliant away from parental direction.

Robin applied for and was accepted to go abroad on the AFS program for a year. She went to Denmark the summer after graduation and lived with a wonderful family, Jens and Erna Merrald and their two children, Torben and Jetta. There are various factors involved in program. There may be feelings of resentment or jealousy as the exchange student gets attention, but it is a genuinely great experience. It was helpful that Jens could speak English quite well, but Robin was there to learn their language and live their lifestyle. She was not to speak English which defeated the goal of the mother, who was hoping to learn English.

The family and Robin made a pact not to speak English and if they did they would be fined five ore. The first night at the dinner table, her "mor" (Danish for mother) said to them in Danish, "Would anyone like more potatoes?" She made the mistake of saying "one, two, three" in English so she had to pay 5 ore. Robin remains very close to that family. They have come to visit us twice and Robin was able to go back once. Even though in some ways it was a difficult year for Robin, years later she would say it was a good thing for her to have done.

In the fall of 1963, before Eric's final year at Clarke, we decided to apply for a student and were a host family to Juan Martinez from Oaxaca, Mexico: He was a kind, modest, and quiet fellow, who appreciated whatever we did for him. Eric felt a responsibility for him, however, and there were times he would have preferred spending less time with him. He thought later that feelings he had might have prepared him for the year he spent with a lovely family Franz and Krista Klaus- in Coburg, Germany. He understood how Stephan, who was closest to Eric's age, felt about him.

Years later Richard, Eric, and I went to Cancun, Mexico for the wedding of Juan's brother, Ramiro. He was a very intelligent man, who was in charge of all computer programming for the Casa Maya Hotel, where we stayed. The couple was married in a civil service in the morning and in a religious service in her parents' home in the afternoon.

We also were hosts to Jens Clasvorbeck from Gutersloh, Germany. We characterize him as our "crazy German." Eric had a mug that read, "You can always tell a German, but you can't tell him much." Having some German blood myself, I can't argue with that. Jens has been back three or four times. He came for Robin's wedding as did her family from Denmark. We love Jens, but we wonder if he is ever going to grow up.

Our most difficult student was Adyl Ibadah from Morocco. This was almost doomed to failure from the beginning, which was sad because I'd really wanted to learn more about his culture. However, that culture's attitude toward women made me feel that he was treating me badly. Additionally, he had lived in Texas before he came to live with us. He didn't go to school there and spent all the money he had brought with him. He depended upon us financially. This was going to be difficult and I suggested he write home for money, which he said he couldn't do. I finally worked out a plan where we could give him $40 a month, but it was not enough, in his opinion. So we didn't feel that this was our most successful experience, but still Adyl calls from time to time. I was very touched when he sent me a Christmas card. That would not be in accordance with his faith.

We might have concluded our AFS ventures but then we heard from Juan's cousin, Enrique Bolanos from Mexico City. We had been in touch with him through private means, not through an organization. We were disappointed when it didn't seem like arrangements was working out, and he wasn't going to be able to come. That was when we ended up with Adyl. We had put Adyl on the bus for his trip back home at the end of June and two weeks later we received a letter from Enrique saying, "I can come." He was a sweetheart who erased any negative feelings we had. Our conclusion was that this is a wonderful program that broadens us, opening our lives to an expanded knowledge of the world and other cultures. Our way is certainly not the only way and not always the best way.

Robin attended Iowa State University as Richard and I had done, and majored in Family Services. She has been a social worker in Nursing homes ever since she graduated from college, and retired when daughter Megan was born January 25 of this year (2001). Blake Shultice is now 12, and Brooke Shultice is seven. After their marriage in 1999, Robin and her husband, Gerard Linskens bought our house and 40 acres of land. Gerard is from Holland and has been in the country about 10 years. He loves America! Holland is a small country, very flat and crowded. Gerard loves the open spaces. He is a physical therapist employed at Iowa Methodist Medical Center in Des Moines.

Although we no longer live on the original Barr family farm, this was a good solution all around. Like many others farmers, we were caught in the crisis of 1987. We kept on for a couple of years, and in 1995, with Fred Wood, built the bowling alley and operated it for two years. We sold our interest to Kenny Brammer. We now rent out the remaining crop land and Richard is working in maintenance at the casino. There is physical labor involved but no stress, and that is a definite plus. It seems strange because I was definitely not in favor of the boat and now Richard is working there. I have been working part-time at Anchor Motors for about three years.

Eric is a graduate of Iowa State. For a long time he'd had a dream of being an astronaut, but before he graduated from college, he decided to enter the Air Force. While he was in college a professor gave an essay test, which Eric blew completely. He just didn't get the idea. His professor said, "Mr. Barr, I fear for our country with you going into the Air Force. They might send you to bomb Russia and you would end up in Idaho." However, he is in the Air Force and is now a pilot flying a remote control spy plane called "The Predator."

Eric is based out of Las Vegas, and his wife, Julieann (Julie), and daughter, Alexis (Lexie Lu), live there. Lexie Luis 3, in pre-school, and is always trying to pick up one of the infants to take home to be her little brother or sister. She must think she will find one by the road, just like my grandma Slaybaugh's little brother was found. Julie is a dear girl and we are so happy she came along to make Eric's life complete.

Eric is looking forward to being discharged in a couple of years and wants to return to Iowa. I will be very glad when he is home. He is often sent to Macedonia, and it seems to be a long way from here.

I have known, admired, and been inspired by strong women: Charlotte Kelly, my mom, Grandmother Edith Price, Karine Slaybaugh, and my aunt, Lois Husted. I remember my mother as such a wise woman. During her last illness, I would drive into town to bring her out to our farm for the day. She was losing her sight and was often in great discomfort. It seemed to help her to have somewhere to go and have company for awhile. In the last summer of her life, as we would drive out on the country road, she would notice blue flowers growing close by the edge of the road. She asked me one day what they were as she could only see a blue blur. I told her I would stop and pick her a bouquet of chicory because, unlike the case of my tonsillectomy, we had time and her appointment could wait.

I am waiting for evidence that some of Mom's wisdom was contagious. I wonder when I will catch that. I'm still trying to figure out what I will be when I grow up.